Announcement

Now it's time to MAXIMize the Moment!

Mr. Stuart seems more serious today than usual. More often than not, he starts class with a joke, or a trick, or something light and funny. Today, though, he just waits for the class to settle in and announces, "I think it is important that we talk a little bit about what's going on in the world. I'm sure you all have heard a great deal from your parents, or in the news-some pretty frightening stuff. Does anybody want to say a little bit about what's on your mind?"

Everyone looks around at each other and down at their desks.

Finally, one girl asks, "Are we going to go to war?"

Her question is followed by an awkward pause. Davis feels like everyone is looking at him, even though he knows that it isn't the case. Nobody but his girlfriend Fiona knows that his mom is a doctor for the US Army, and could be sent overseas any day now. And not even she knows how much this frightens him.

Finally, Mr. Stuart replies, "That is a very good question. I don't know the answer, though." The discussion goes on for a while, with different students voicing various concerns. It seems to Davis like the conversation will never end. He is afraid everyone will see how scared he is and will think he's a wimp.

After what seems like forever, Mr. Stuart returns to his old self, wraps up the somber talk, and says something light to make the class laugh. Davis isn't quite ready to start laughing and he hopes no one notices.

But Fiona does. She knows that all this talk would hit Davis especially hard. At her locker after school, she says to him, "Are you okay? All that stuff about war must be rough on you because of your mom. Do you want to talk about it?"

Davis pretends he's feeing fine: "Nah. I'm cool," he says. He tries to laugh but it comes out more like a choking sound. He's afraid he may actually start crying-how manly would that seem?!

Fiona and Davis walk outside, and she again offers to help, "You know, if you need to talk about it with anyone, it's alright."

As Davis looks away, Fiona says, "Well, I'm here, okay?"

Davis nods and heads home alone. When he gets in, his mom can tell that something is wrong. She asks him what's wrong and he can't hold it in anymore. Words and tears come tumbling out of him. His mom is actually relieved that he is finally letting it all out, instead of having to put on a brave front for everyone.

"You know, Davis, 'Tears running down your face do not blind you.'" she says, " It is okay to cry when you feel scared, but more importantly, it's okay to be scared."

Hearing her say that makes him feel better, at least a little, already. Maybe he will talk to Fiona tomorrow. Davis now knows that it's okay to lean on others when times are hard. It's okay to get scared sometimes. It's even okay to cry because "Tears running down your face do not blind you."

This week's maxim is "Tears running down your face do not blind you."

Maxim:

• "Tears running down your face do not blind you."
  African proverb

• Optimism-I have a positive outlook and look for the good in all situations.
• Perseverance-I continue on, even when the situation is difficult, challenging or painful.
• Faith-I believe and trust in goodness.
• Hope-I believe in the goodness of the future.

• Does talk on the news about terrorism frighten you? Do you understand what it is about?
• What questions would you ask the experts about terrorism, if you could?
• Do you agree with Davis's mom that it's okay to be scared?
• What are some times when fear is natural, even healthy, response?
• What can we, as a community, do to help a person that is upset?
• How can you tell when someone is upset?
• How can you help others deal with their grief and fear?
• Why is it important to be a hopeful person? Why is hope especially important during trying times?
• What helps you have hope during a difficult time?

Home-Use Information

Five tips for maxim-izing your family time:

• Watch the news together and begin your discussion of this topic afterwards.
• Be open to everyone's questions about terrorism and/or war.
• Talk about what things that you can do to protect yourself and you family, without changing the basics of your day-to-day routine.
• Try to be calm and courageous, yet honest as well, Your strength, your willingness to show fear, and your ability to have hope in the future will set the example for the whole family.
• Discuss the situation at a time that is comfortable for the whole family. Do not be afraid to bring up the topic with children, but also be aware of your children's need to continue on with normal daily life.

Discussion starters:

• Is this a difficult thing to talk about? Is it more or less difficult to talk about your fears with your family or with friends/in class?
• Discuss what is on everyone's mind on the topics of terrorism and war with Iraq.
• Do you feel like others will think you are being silly or weak if you admit to being afraid?
• What things make you afraid?
• How can being aware of your fears help you to overcome them?
• Why is it important to be aware of emotion (maybe especially) unpleasant ones?
• What or who helps and supports you during difficult times?
• How can we know when you are scared and need our help?
• How can we know what kind of help (to be able to talk, a hug, some time alone, etc) you need?
• How can we, as a family, be better prepared for anything that might happen, without giving up a "normal" life?
• How can hope help each of us in our daily lives at home? At work/school? In our interactions with others? In our self-reflection?

Related Links:

• Celebrating Black History Month
  http://www.time.com/time/reports/blackhistory/
  

• Talking to Kids about War and Terrorism
  http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/war.html
  

• National Association of School Psychologists: Children and Fear of War and Terrorism
  http://www.nasponline.org/NEAT/children_war.html