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MAXIMize Your Family
Time
 Vol 2 Wk 22
17 Feb. 2003
Courage

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Story

Today, Mr. Stuart starts class by saying, "I'm sure you all have heard things from your parents, or on TV-some frightening stuff. Do you want to talk about what might be worrying you?"

"Is there going to be a war? Are we safe?" someone asks.

"My mom isn't!" Jasmine thinks to herself, then wonders if everyone is looking at her. They aren't-only Frankie knows that Jasmine's mom is an Army doctor and could be sent overseas any day. Jasmine doesn't want to talk about things, but the conversation seems never-ending.

Jasmine hopes no one notices how much Artie's question upset her. But Frankie does and asks her about it on the bus home. "Jasmine," Frankie says, "All that talk about war is pretty rough on you because of your mom, right?"

Jasmine shrugs it off, "No. I'm fine."

Frankie can tell that Jasmine doesn't want to talk and offers her support one more time before letting it go. "You know, if you want to talk, it's alright," Frankie says as Jasmine gets off the bus.

Jasmine's mom can tell that something is wrong and asks her about it. When Jasmine lets it all out, in words and tears, it is actually a relief for Jasmine's mom. She knows that Jasmine's struggle to seem brave was making everything harder.

"You know, Jasmine, 'Tears running down your face do not blind you.' Not only is it okay to cry when you feel scared, but more importantly, it's okay to be scared."

That helps Jasmine feel a little better. Maybe she will talk to Frankie tomorrow. Jasmine finally realizes that it's okay to lean on your friends when times are hard. It's okay to get scared sometimes. It's even okay to cry because "Tears running down your face do not blind you."


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Maxim:

  • "Tears running down your face do not blind you."
    African proverb

Featured character trait:

  • Courage-I overcome fear because I know something else is more important.
Character points (for substitution if this week's trait isn't one of your school's core values):
  • Optimism - I have a positive outlook and look for the good in all situations.
  • Perseverance - I continue on, even when the situation is difficult, challenging, or painful.
  • Faith - I believe and trust in goodness.
  • Hope - I believe in the goodness of the future.
Homeroom Discussion Information
  • Does talk on the news about terrorism frighten you? Do you understand what it is about?
  • Do you agree with Jasmine's mom that it's okay to be scared?
  • What are some times when fear is natural, even healthy, response?
  • What can we, as a community, do to help a person that is upset?
  • How can you tell when someone is upset?
  • How can you help others deal with their grief and fear?
  • Why is it important to be a hopeful person? Why is hope especially important during trying times?
  • What helps you have hope during a difficult time?


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Home-Use Information

Five tips for maxim-izing your family time:

  • Watch the news together and begin your discussion of this topic afterwards.
  • Be open to everyone's questions about terrorism and/or war.
  • Talk about what things that you can do to protect yourself and you family, without changing the basics of your day-to-day routine.
  • Try to be calm and courageous, yet honest as well, Your strength, your willingness to show fear, and your ability to have hope in the future will set the example for the whole family.
  • Discuss the situation at a time that is comfortable for the whole family. Do not be afraid to bring up the topic with children, but also be aware of your children's need to continue on with normal daily life.

Discussion starters:

  • Is this a difficult thing to talk about? Is it more or less difficult to talk about your fears with your family or with friends/in class?
  • Discuss what is on everyone's mind on the topics of terrorism and war with Iraq.
  • Do you feel like others will think you are being silly if you feel afraid?
  • What things make you afraid?
  • What or who helps and supports you during difficult times?
  • How can we know when you are scared and need our help?
  • How can we know what kind of help (to be able to talk, a hug, some time alone, etc) you need?
  • How can we, as a family, be better prepared for anything that might happen, without giving up a "normal" life?
  • How can hope help each of us in our daily lives at home? At work/school? In our friendships with others?
Be sure to acknowledge the courage your children show in talking with you about these issues.

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© 2003 The Ethics Resource Center